Trashy Christmas Movies, Competitively Ranked


Christmas movies,  they’re always garbage but somewhat charming at the same time. The best ones are the ones that don’t make any sense, surprise you with how dumb the characters are, and make you question why you’re even watching such a trainwreck. On the other hand, the worst ones are just boring, they’re not good nor are they even bad… just average. You can clown on a bad movie for being so trash but you can’t do the same to an average movie, it’s just depressing. Now here’s some trash that leaves you with the feeling of disgust for the waste of time that you were just subjected to.

A Christmas Prince: A Netflix Original released in 2017. There are 3 characters that actually matter, the prince, the princess, and the main character. Now only 1 of those characters I actually like, the princess.  There are supposed to be 2 villains or whatever but they were so boring that I hardly have any memory of their personality other than they really wanted the cash that comes from being royalty or whatever. Basically, main girl gets mistaken as a tutor for the princess, the princess and main girl become friends after trouble at first, main girl loves good ol’ prince charming. The interesting(?) part is the main girl escaping suspicion of not being the actual tutor along with the entire script being filled with cheese so strong, you could see the cartoon lines of stank that comes off it. The atmosphere really is Christmas-y though and it looks pretty nice. Also, I’ve been calling the main character “main girl” because I don’t remember her name.  Apparently, enough people liked the movie enough for Netflix to make a sequel. Twice. 8/10 A-Tier, it’s that vibe I love, so bad that I can’t help but feel the Stockholm Syndrome setting in.

Klaus: An animated Christmas movie also on Netflix. It’s actually not bad, I just wanted to include an animated movie for variety. Though its story is kinda different from the rest, telling the beginnings of our best boy Klaus himself. It’s genuinely a heartwarming movie that is animated beautifully. It’s something that I actually recommend people to watch unironically. The trailer doesn’t really do the movie justice in my opinion and it’s not too long so I’d recommend just watch the movie. I don’t want to spoil much about a good movie so there isn’t much I would like to say. Unfortunately, this is a trashy Christmas movie tier list so it gets a 1/10 D-Tier. But in my heart, it’s a solid 9/10.

Christmas Inheritance: You see there might be a pattern of Netflix movies, that’s because that’s all I used to watch these pieces of trash (Klaus excluded). This movie is bad. Not even in the good way. It’s one of those movies that I described in the beginning, just average. You can’t make fun of it other than just being boring. Nothing happens, I swear I could fall asleep watching it at 2:00PM working out in the middle of the street while train horns blaring in my ears, it’s that boring. In fact, I don’t remember much of the film other than the beginning, my brain kinda just shut off after 10 minutes, I might as well have been braindead for the next 90 minutes. The basic premise is that some dumb, rich party girl gets in trouble with daddy, gets sent to a remote town, finds some guy that she likes, then learns the miracle of Christmas or whatever. Not good, 1/10. In my heart, it’s a solid 1/10 F-Tier.

I could review more but it hurts typing out hot garbage.