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Horoscope: Halloween Edition

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Horoscope: Halloween Edition

Avah M., Editor-In-Chief

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Although the days of trick-or-treating are long gone for most, Halloween still remains a holiday surrounded by the expectation of candy. In celebration of the spookiest day of the year, consult the stars to see what candy best suits your personality. remembrance

Aries (March 21-April 20): Smarties

Remember when smarties got banned in elementary school because kids were using them “inappropriately”? Well that’s you- a bad influence. Like smarties at the bottom of a candy bag, people come to you last for everything. It’s like people only want you when they can’t find anything better.
Taurus (April 21-May 21): Tootsie Roll

Like Tootsie Rolls, most people claim to despise you, yet they still associate with you (or in the case of Tootsie Rolls, eat them). Needless to say, people love to hate you. Tootsie Rolls are one of the safer candies- banks have them, teachers have them- which reflects your undeniable need for security and reassurance.
Gemini (May 22-June 21): Hershey’s Bar

On the outside, people think you’re plain but in reality, you’re actually the most versatile candy out there. Have you ever gotten pretzels for Halloween? Bam! Now you have chocolate covered pretzels. Your adaptability compliments your intellect- intuition is your specialty.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): Dots

No matter how hard people try, they just can’t get rid of you- like Dots. Trying to disassociate from you is like trying to get the gooey Dots out of the crevices of your teeth: time consuming and nearly impossible. For some odd reason though, people keep coming back to you- it must be the personality.
Leo (July 23-August 21): Pixie Stix

Your enthusiastic demeanor makes it impossible to turn you down. You’re like a pixie stick, people look to you for a morale boost. Your overt optimism can make you less appealing to some- they say you’re “faking it”. But what do they know? You’re secretly pretentious, so you tell yourself nothing and continue with life unbothered as usual.

Virgo (August 22-September 23): Candy Corn

Like candy corn, you’re an introvert who only makes a grand appearance a few times a year. You are the practical friend, making you the practical Halloween treat. Your modesty has earned you a plethora of criticism, mostly because you’re what people aspire to be (no candy has the prestige of candy corn on Halloween).

Libra (September 24-October 23): 100 Grand Bar

You enjoy the finer things, so its only fitting you’re a candy bar named after a sum of money. This candy bar has the best of both worlds- chocolate and caramel- displaying your inability to compromise along with your diplomatic nature. You’re great at solving problems, unless they’re your own.
Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Melted Laffy Taffy

People try to avoid you but you’re always there, like the impossible-to-open laffy taffy. No one knows what to expect from you, ever: will you come right out or will you stick and be covered in paper, barely edible? If you weren’t so secretive, maybe people would like you more.
Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Chocolate Covered Raisins

Let’s face it, you make people uncomfortable- like waiting for the raisin taste when you eat a chocolate covered raisin. You act sweet and innocent on the outside but on the inside, you’re a shriveling grape. Maybe if you stopped putting on a promising facade, people would learn to immediately be disappointed in you.
Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Pretzels

You’re disciplined and Halloween is no exception: pretzels are your treat, candy is for the weak. Your steadfast mindset deters people from talking to you and your harsh criticism makes people cry, like a kid who got pretzels for Halloween. Your unchangeable personality makes you dependable, people know exactly what to expect from you.
Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Bubblegum

You’re the caring type, making you the classic bubblegum. You’re always willing to help, it’s just your personality. But you have no patience for anything and soon enough, you’re not so nice. Your friends look at you like a piece of cheap bubblegum: keep you around for five minutes until you become flavorless.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Almond Joy

People tend forget about you, mostly because you don’t leave much of an impression, similar to Almond Joys. You try to have a hint of personality- a bit of a nutty coconut- but to most it just comes off as weird. You feel like you’re constantly judged, which has made you passive aggressive; just be yourself though, every candy is special in its own way.

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Horoscope: Halloween Edition