Some people might have experienced at least once what it was like to have a friend who doesn’t support you. It may be because they don’t know how to be supportive, they’re jealous or they just don’t care enough. Either way, it hurts when you realize that someone who’s supposed to show their care fails to do that. It makes us feel unseen and unwanted. Maybe even you have been that friend yourself where you don’t show support to the person you call your friend. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person but it is something that needs work in order to keep relationships stable.
In my own experience, I’ve felt like some of the people who I called my friend were not supporting me like I wished they would. Sometimes they would ignore me when I talk about something I’m proud of or something that I’m passionate about. It made me feel like no one cared, not even my own friends. Unfortunately I never expressed how I felt because I felt like my friends were gonna act like I’m overreacting and I didn’t want to have to deal with that. I still kept the friendship going because me and that person were super close and we spent everyday together so I would try to convince myself that how I felt wasn’t that big of a deal. In our friendship I always tried to make sure that they felt like they had someone who is there for them even when I wasn’t feeling like they were actively showing up for me.
On the other hand, there are times where I also felt like I wasn’t being the greatest friend. Sometimes I get caught up in my own life that I would go days without checking up on a friend or I wouldn’t show up for them when they needed it. It used to be uncomfortable for me to show affection to my friends sometimes because I felt that if I was seen vulnerable, they would take advantage of me. That affected my ability in showing my support for my friend. Overtime, I got better by doing the healing that I need to do on myself in order to be a better friend and a better person overall. To learn how to be a better friend, I had to get out of my shell. People in my life who weren’t treating me like I wanted to be treated were removed and my friendships got stronger and better.
Almost everyone has experienced feeling like they’re alone and like no one supports them. I decided to interview two people to get their feelings on the matter whether it be how they felt or how they made someone else feel. I asked my stepmom if she’s ever had any non supportive friends and she answered yes. She stated that just recently she fell out with one of her closest friends because they weren’t seeing eye to eye on certain decisions. They had been friends since high school and they’ve had disagreement issues in the past but this was the last straw for my stepmom. Shortly after interviewing her I asked my dad for his opinion on non supportive friends and he felt that it’s important to always keep people who support you around you because it matters. Finally, I want to add that I agree that it’s very important to keep supportive friends in your life but it’s also important to believe in yourself.
